Why Japanese Women Like Older Men
There is a phenomenon about Japanese women that boggles the mind of the western man. I’ve known lots of Japanese women who date older men. By “older men,” I mean more than a few years. There have been some couples I’ve known where the woman was in her early twenties and the man over fifty.
Now, to the eyes of a typical westerner, this looks like a case of gold digging. After all, why would a woman so young go after a guy so much older? In many of these cases, he isn’t too much to look at either. It boggles the mind to see this happening to much.
Another conclusion you might jump to is that the woman as a “father complex.” In fact, I’ve heard this said on blogs and forums about dating Japanese women. Like some men who have a thing for motherly older women, they have some unresolved Freudian issues that make them fall in love with dads.
Both of these misconceptions are untrue and they show how little we know about Japanese culture. It also shows our unwillingness to simply ask a younger Japanese woman why she likes older men. The answers are simple, and they reveal a lot about how Japanese women feel about men in general.
Let’s look at the real reasons you see this phenomenon. The first is that Japanese women love men who are successful, established and in control of their lives. It’s not the money that they’re after, but rather the cool level-headedness of the older man. He is more worldly than the guys her age. His success at his job shows that he’s devoted and hard-working. These are both traits that Japanese women tend to like in men.
If you look at Japanese men in their twenties, they’re never this worldly, level-headed or successful. In the corporate world of Japan, they’re the yes-men. Many men are also very immature by western standards well into their twenties. While some Japanese women find this immaturity cute, others would rather have a more mature and responsible man.
Another real reason Japanese women often go for older men is that they’re more virile than their younger counterparts. This is partly because of the generation difference. There is a major generation gap now in Japan between older people who are more traditional, and younger people who are more open-minded. Ironically, while younger men give women more respect and freedom, some part of them loves the old-school manly man of the middle aged guy. There’s a phrase the media uses in Japan to describe a certain new type of young men – “herbivores.” In other words, they’re soft and sweet but not very exciting.
What this means for you if you want to date Japanese women is that you’ve got to show her you’re successful, mature side as well as your childlike, fun-loving side. And even though she’s sweet and polite, don’t be afraid to be a little bit of a macho man sometimes. Of course all of this depends on the woman in question, but let this knowledge help you understand the mind of the Japanese woman!
