To Japanese Men: Take the Good, Leave the Bad and the Ugly

The email below is from a Japanese woman, continuing education student, at a university in Tokyo.

The question was, “Why is Japan a paradise for American men?”

Hi Ansel,

I thought about the reason that Japan is paradise for American men. It’s not only American but also for western men. I used to want to marry to a foreigner when I was around twenty.

Here are the reasons that I wanted to marry foreigner. I guess many Japanese girls just like me. Even they only want to date.

1. Having American boyfriend is the easiest way to improve my English.

2. International marriage or having American boyfriend sounds cool.

3. I was disappointed in Japanese men.

4. I wanted to have different life from my friends.

5. I dreamed about living abroad rest of my life.

I don’t know why I dreamed about it, because I didn’t have any American friends. Of course, I didn’t know what American think and feel. However, I had ideas of American men that I got from movies.

1. They seem to love their family more than Japanese men do.

a) Because Japanese men never say I love you.

b) Japanese work over time everyday so they don’t enough time to spend time with their family.

2. They are assertive, Japanese men aren’t.

a) I hate a man that acts like girls.

3. They are much better looking than Japanese.

4. They are tough guy but Japanese men look weak.

Finally, I realized that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.
Seeing Japanese men is very comfortable and they are also sweet!

Have a good night.

H.T.

Her email mirrors the sentiment of many Japanese women and perhaps even most Japanese women at some point in their lives. The love affair with the American movie star image of a tall Caucasian man, with blond hair and blue eyes, is the fresh off the plane, at Narita airport, American man’s ticket for easy sex with many Japanese women. It’s quite laughable to see, as many of the American males of the mixed couples I’ve seen would be considered average or below in the States. But, in Japan they are near gods, and for at least a moment in time, the Japanese girl has her ‘white man’, her status symbol, much like her Louis Vuitton handbag, and the American man has his Japanese ‘subservient’ woman and sex slave.

What Japanese men should do is take the good. Spend more time with your family, wife or girlfriend. Remember, if you die, your employer will have your positioned filled quickly, your boss doesn’t love you, he may need you, but he doesn’t love you, you can be replaced.

Women need to be assured that they’re loved, they need to hear the words. If you do love her say, “I love you.” sometimes, you won’t die.

Realize that the world of your fathers is changing and leave the bad and the ugly. For starters, Japanese advertising agencies should stop marketing white people generally and white men particularly as being ‘so cool’. From the eikaiwa industry to new home sales white men and their pearly white teeth are everywhere for the Japanese woman to long for wistfully. The population of white foreigners in Japan is so small there’s no logical reason for such media prominence. Even some Japanese men think American men are cool – how stupid! Who can blame a Japanese woman for wanting a white man when even Japanese men think they are cool.

Be more assertive, take chances, there is no reward without risk. The same is true in business, there would be no great Japanese corporations if no one hadn’t risked.

A woman once told me, “Japanese men don’t say they’re sorry.” Don’t let pride get in the way of being wrong. Being wrong is not the end of the world and saying you’re sorry opens the doors to forgetfulness and forgiveness much faster. Learn to say you are sorry.

While sitting at dinner with a young Japanese couple the man said, “It’s one thing to catch a fish, you still have to feed it.” I was clueless as to what he meant. He said in a relationship the man has to continue to care for the woman once he has her. I would add that a man has to feed her not only what keeps her alive, but also what makes her happy. Just as human beings nourishment needs are different from that of a fish, so are a man’s needs different from a woman’s. Realizing, discovering and serving these needs make for a great relationship.

Would you like to create more love in your life?
Do you have questions about your partner and love?
Do you need someone to listen to you?
Do you want a better relationship?
Would you like to create a plan so you can meet your life’s partner?
Contact me for individual (private) or group discussions with your personal group of friends or your professional organization. contact anSel

Who is the Professional Sex worker?

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Who is the Professional Sex worker?

© Ansel Simpson - All rights reserved

http://www.1001kisses.com

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In America, women put their nose up at women who work in the sex industry as prostitutes, call girls, or adult video actresses. There may be a couple reasons for this attitude, one is that American women generally feel that they should expect or require sexual satisfaction from the men with whom they have sex. So men that use prostitutes, call girls, or frequently watch adult videos are generally considered losers and so are the women that service them. Generally, professional sex workers don’t expect to have pleasurable sex. The other reason that women in the sex business may be looked down upon is that women feel that selling sex to earn money take little talent or skill and it’s a lazy way to make money.

A similar sentiment may be mirrored in Japan. As a Japanese woman do you think you are ‘better’ than the professional girls that have sex for money? Or better than a sex doll? Those women(or dolls) don’t expect pleasure either – they are paid to open their legs, please their clients and to act pleased. But with the money they earn ,they can shop, dine, and travel as they please. The exception being the doll which the man can put in the closet.

“But I am different! I don’t accept money!” Really? Every time you accept a gift, go to dinner, go on a trip, but, have unsatisfactory sex, you are being paid, exactly the same as the professional sex worker. As a wife, you have the added tasks of caring for his children and his house while you salary includes being able to eat the food that he pays for and living rent free in his house. Those are the facts for many Japanese households, so when the man adds a girlfriend to his life or ‘requires’ sex of you what complaint can you have? Actually, there can be no complaint. There is a saying, “He who makes the money makes the rules.”

Unlike American women there’s a great possibility that you don’t know the pure feeling of relaxation and pleasure that great sex can bring. This feeling can help you to forget the stresses of the day, your irritating boss or a careless colleague. How many times have you experienced this deep sense of sexual bliss? Most of the time that you’ve had sex or made love? Probably not, if one believes the statistics reported on Japan’s sex life. Thus the comparison of the professional sex worker to many Japanese women, neither expect pleasure, but one group is compensated better.

When your boyfriend or husband has sex with you and you haven’t been physically pleased to the point of orgasm, does he ‘love’ you? I was recently shocked to hear a woman say that she didn’t particularly enjoy sex, but the man she’s with loves her! Frankly, he could be just as physically content with masturbating! Except that with masturbation he doesn’t have the warmth of another body. If a man loves you, he should seek out your sexual pleasure before his own.

Remember, sex dolls and women in the sex business don’t require love or pleasure.
Perhaps for that lack of male sensitivity to women Japan is at the forefront of sex doll technology. The realism of the sex dolls if frightening. The fact that there is a market for this product indicates that many Japanese men are perfectly satisfied with and quite possibly would prefer to selfishly please themselves. What a disturbing trend that men are turning to inanimate objects to satisfy their sexual desires.

Though looked down upon, there seems to be a paradox, the professional sex worker may have the best world. If she happens upon a good lover AND she gets paid to enjoy what she’s doing it’s a bonus. To some degree she is in control with no expectation of anything long-term. There is no commitment. While the mental commitment a woman makes when she gives a man sex in hopes of a relationship goes much deeper and quite often less physically satisfying. A woman should expect and require a man to do more sexually, not just feed her, buy gifts, make her a wife and homemaker, bear children, clean up the house, gain weight and grow old and less attractive, and he comes home and does nothing.

Many Japanese women look forward to this fantastic lifestyle, while the man gets a girlfriend, who, by the way, doesn’t receive sexual pleasure either.

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Ansel Simpson is the author of “1001 Butterfly Kisses”: A guidebook for pleasing women, so simple even a man can use it! eBook available in English, Japanese and Chinese.

Click here now: http://www.1001kisses.com

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In the N E W S !

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