To Get Japanese Women, be a “Real Man,” not “Superman”
According to some friends of mine who are women, one of the most confusing things to them is why men feel they have to be some kind of superman. There are so many men out there who feel the need to be 100% in control at all times – they cannot show vulnerability, they cannot admit a mistake. Even worse, some men feel like they have to act cocky, strut around in bars and locker rooms like they’re macho studs, brag about their sexual conquests…you know the type.
But here’s the funny thing: most women don’t want to be with this kind of self-appointed “superman.” They do not want to have to live up to that kind of pressure, and a man should not feel he has to be a superman. “Superman” only exists in the movies and comic books, in reality no man can be a superman. So the question then becomes, what do women really want?
Women Want Real Men
It is as simple as that. But not just any man. Women want a real man. Now everyone has their own definition of what a “real” man is, but trust me, a man’s idea of what a real man is and a woman’s idea of a real man are probably two entirely different things.
Real Men
Real men are not predators. They do not treat women like they are animals only put on Earth to satisfy their sexual needs. Women are people, they have feelings, emotions, and needs of their own. Real men recognize that and put some effort into getting to know a woman and not make her feel like a prostitute. This is especially significant in Japan. You’d be surprised how many Western guys come to Tokyo and go berserk – having sex with as many Japanese women as they possibly can, with no thought given to the possible emotional consequences, and no effort made to be a gentleman or even a “good guest.”
Real men have self-confidence are not angry jerks. Real men have a good sense of humor and are able to have a conversation that does not revolve around sex.
Real men take pride in how they look and how they present themselves to a woman. Real men have a look that is “put together,” not thrown together. You do not have to strut around like some alpha male. That is the fastest way to turn a woman off – especially in Japan. If a Japanese woman sees you acting like a cocky “alpha male,” her radar will go off and she will know you are just out for sex and not really interested in her as a person. Japanese women tend to appreciate a quieter, humbler approach from men – they don’t line up to get with the loudest, most boisterous alpha male in the room. Instead, watch for the guy in the corner with the cool sense of style and the understated demeanor – he’s the one who won’t be going home alone.
Real men take the time to learn how to talk to a woman and how to ask questions that show you are interested in her as a person. You can ask about her job, her friends, her interests, etc. Pay attention to her answers. This can be hard in Japan with the language barrier, but even if her English ability is limited, Japanese women still know who is legitimately interested and sincerely listening – and who is just being a “player.”
Supermen are everywhere, real men are hard to find
Believe it or not, a lot of men think they have to be the most handsome, the best dressed, have a lot of money, and show off to make a women want them. That is about the farthest thing from the truth.
In reality, real men are hard for women to find. (Especially in Japan!) Japanese women are tired of being hunted like animals and treated as sexual objects. Japanese women often get the worst of both worlds – they’re surrounded by work-a-holic Japanese men who often fail to pleasure them sexually, and then occasionally they meet lecherous Western “alpha males” who just want to use them for sex.
A smart Western man in Japan will treat every Japanese woman like a lady and invest some time in building an emotional connection to her before trying to get her into bed with them.
The mention of investing “some time” might frighten some guys. “Some time” merely means only the amount of time a particular woman needs before she has sex with you. The time varies from woman to woman, with the time being dramatically short the more you let her talk and the less you talk. Stop talking about yourself and try asking the right questions instead.
To a woman, a real man is a refreshing change from the super studs who are obviously only out for sex. That guy may get laid by drunk girls at the gaijin bars in Roppongi, but he’s not going to have any luck with the higher-quality type of Japanese woman who is worth having a possible relationship with. Real men have standards, after all.
Besides, as a real man, do you want a woman who will sleep with any man or do you want a woman who will only have sex with a real man?
What were some of the ways that you learned to decide what your “standards” were for dating Japanese women?
Was there a time when you just wanted to sleep with any woman who would have you? How did your perspective evolve?
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