The Power Of “Konnichiwa”
Konnichiwa (hello in Japanese) is a very basic, yet very powerful word and can be used anywhere in the world when approaching a Japanese girl. The conversations that follow can only occur if, and only if, you start off by saying “Hello”.
There is not a more powerful word in the world than a well-timed “Hello”. It’s classy, respectful, and non-threatening.
And that’s the trick. The “Hello” has to be well timed. Done wrong and your “Hello” will have the reverse effect and give off a “creepy” and “desperate” impression.
Here’s a true story about how a simple “Konnichiwa” landed me a very attractive and intelligent girlfriend.
I rode the train to work everyday at the same time. On this train, two stops after mine, an attractive woman would get on. She didn’t always get in the same train car as mine but she did enough times that I noticed and recognized her. Our stops were near the beginning of the run and we always got a seat. One day, I decided to say “Konnichiwa”.
She was sitting diagonally next to an elderly Japanese man that I knew wasn’t with her. I got up from my seat, went to her, smiled, and said “Konnichiwa”.
I noticed recognition in her eyes (being the only foreigner on the train helped). She said “Konnichiwa” back. I asked if I could sit with her. She politely said yes and continued reading her book. I sat there, next to the elderly Japanese man, thinking if I should be clever and start a conversation. I didn’t and sat there, silently, for the rest of the train ride.
When the train got to her stop (3 stops before mine), I said “Bye”. She smiled politely and returned my “Bye”.
Was that a well-timed “Hello”? What made it well timed was the fact that I wasn’t a “total stranger” to her, even though we were, in fact, strangers. There was “something in common” between us; even if that something was that we rode the same train every morning.
Does this mean in order to say “Hello” you need “something in common” with the woman? Yes, but creating the something isn’t as hard as it sounds.
An activity, such as bowling or shopping, connects you, even if you have never seen that woman before. I’ve had success approaching groups of women and asking to join them simply because I said “Konnichiwa” and they were involved in the same activity as me.
What to avoid is the walking up to a woman on the street and saying “Hello” without having a question or compliment to hold her attention. Striking up a conversation with an obvious attempt at trying to score a date is called “Nanpa” and is frowned upon in Japanese culture. The women who respond to this approach are usually women you don’t want.
So, how did my “Hello” land me this woman?
Two days later we ended up in the same train car. Upon seeing her, I smiled, said “Konnichiwa”, and politely asked if I could sit with her again. She politely agreed. This time, however, she didn’t read her book. We talked.
I can go into details of what we talked about, which was, for the most part, just simple small talk. The conversation did end with me asking her out for lunch – lunches turned to dinners – and dinners turned into a satisfying relationship.
“Konnichiwa” is a very powerful word, and when used correctly, can lead to wonderful things.
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