Tag Archives: Marriage
Is there sex after marriage to a Japanese woman?
There’s an old joke which I’ve repurposed here:
Q: How do you get a Japanese woman to stop wanting to have sex with you?
A: Marry her!
If you have a child and live in Japan consider your sex-life nearly finished.
There is no doubt you have heard it before: Marry a Japanese woman and your sex life goes away. This tale of woe can be heard among many of the foreign (and Japanese) men who are married to Japanese women. A sexless marriage is a sad situation to be in – often leading to frustration, resentment, extramarital affairs or even divorce.
Marriage in Japan
I’ve been reading a lot lately about the Japanese birth rate. Japan has one of the lowest birth rates in the world, and the population is aging rapidly – Japan’s population is actually shrinking as fewer babies are born to replace the elderly people who die. The Japanese government is concerned about the low birth rate, and apparently one of the causes is that only one in four married Japanese couples are having sex. (I knew there was a good reason not to get married!)
If you want to meet Japanese women, don’t be a “mama’s boy”
An email chat, I was asked, “You still think marriage is the greatest thing?”
Yes. I was married once(for seven years), still think it's great, if sex is good for both of us. Sex was never an issue when I was married because I made sure she was sexually satisfied. She was surprised that I could usually make her cum once or twice before me. I studied, so no surprise for me. It wasn't luck. Marriage is great because I prefer to give my sexual and mental attention to one woman. However, living in Japan and having a great sexual relationship difficult. One problem is distance. In America we have cars and live alone so couples can see each other often. But in Japan girls live with their parents and have to go home before the last train or parents will worry. The other problem is that many Japanese women aren't good at sex. This is mostly the fault of Japanese men because the men are sexually selfish. But Japanese women share the responsibility and should discover for themselves what satisfies them sexually. I have discovered that almost every Japanese woman who has experienced cumming(orgasm) wants the feeling again, it's like a drug. Good sex for a women reduces stress. But for a sexual non-Japanese man, the living arrangements, transportation and the lack of sexual experience almost forces men to have several women.
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The Deception of “Good Looks”
Women whom a large number of men and women think are attractive are many times very poor at expressing themselves sexually. Their poor sexual expression isn’t entirely their fault. Attractive women are chased by men and admired or envied by women. They are objects d’art and treated as things. The men who date or marry them are so excited to have a ‘trophy’ to display to friends and family and her genuine sexual pleasure may not be so important. These ‘attractive’ women are sexually malnourished, having not been fed by greedy men who wish to only satisfy themselves. And many of these women haven’t even explored for themselves the joy and relaxation that sexual pleasure brings. Life is a little sad for them, these women don’t feel comfortable just being natural, just being themselves, for they feel they are always on display to the world. The label of ‘attractive’ plus the cover of fashion and make-up masks the sexual freedom that could be.
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Sex Isn’t a Reward for Good Behavior!
A large number of men think, "If I do this for her, she should give me (or want to have) sex!" This is an incredibly immature way to think. Sex isn't a gift or a reward for good deeds or behavior. The feeling of sexual pleasure should be mutually satisfying, and statistically in many cases it's not – for her. It's almost laughable to hear foreign men talk about the sexual times they had with their Japanese spouse before marriage, and how now sex seldom occurs. These men are shocked and angry. Haven't they realized that though many Japanese women appear sexy and attractive that they aren't nearly as sexual as Western women? The statistics are everywhere; Japanese people don't have sex as frequently as other cultures. So what happened?
