Promises and Dating Japanese women
It’s funny how often people make little promises to each other during the course of the day – and often, people don’t keep these promises. But if you are in a relationship with a woman, she will expect you to keep some of the promises you make, even if you don’t realize you made them. This is especially true if you are dating a Japanese woman – because Japanese culture values honesty and politeness and the keeping of promises.
Here are some of the most important promises that a man has to keep, whether he wants to or not.
“I’ll call you right back.”
How many times have you told your woman that you will call her “right back” and then you didn’t get around to calling her for several hours? Guys, you have to understand: when you tell a girl you will call her “right back,” this means 5 minutes or less, 10 minutes at the most. To a woman, if you say you will call her right back and don’t, that sends the message to her that you don’t think she is important or worthy of your time. However, if you tell a Japanese woman a work related reason she will be fine with it because Japanese culture values duty to the company above all else – even family.
If you know you’re going to be tied up for awhile, you would be better off to tell your woman that you are really busy and that you will call her later.
“We should go there.”
This happens all the time. You and your girl are strolling around and you see a restaurant or bar and it looks like an interesting place, so you say, “We should go there sometime!” And what happens? Nothing! Weeks go by, and you never “go there.” You’ve missed a chance for a fun date, and you’ve also, in some small way, undermined your credibility as a man.
If you say to your girlfriend, “We should go there sometime,” that means that you need to take some action and actually make the arrangements to go there. Don’t just say the words and leave it up to her to arrange the date – she’s Japanese, she won’t do it. You made the suggestion, it’s up to you to follow through, not her. Plus it will make her feel very special if you take care of arranging a date and not leave it up to her.
So stop talking about it, and “go there” already!
“I’ll take care of it.”
How many times have you told your girlfriend that you will take care of something and then didn’t? Women don’t like it. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Japanese women don’t nag – they leave. Japanese women also are impressed when men can “take care” of things – whether it’s fixing something in the apartment or making reservations for a vacation or running a simple errand for her. Many of them have the notion of the romantic, renaissance western man they’ve seen in the movies or read about in novels or magazines. If you can prove to your Japanese girlfriend that you are resourceful and dependable, she will not want to leave.
“See you at eight.”
This is important: be punctual. If you say you are going to pick a woman up or meet her somewhere at a specific time, then be on time. If you are stuck at work or are running late, just call her and tell her, but make sure you have a legitimate reason. Japanese women are very busy, and Japanese culture places a huge importance on being on time. Hanging out with your guy friends instead of meeting her on time is not a good reason to be late. Your woman will be a lot less likely to be mad at you if you just tell her the truth that you are going to be late. Just apologize, say, “I’m running late,” and tell her what time you think you will be there.
Keeping your promises is part of being a reliable, “put-together” man. For various cultural reasons, Japanese women in particular will value you highly if you are the kind of man who keeps his promises. Keep the promises you make. Better yet, don’t promise too much and surprise her more often. Japanese women like surprises.
What are some other promises that men need to keep?
How have you recovered in the past from failing to keep a promise?
Get Your Free eBook Sampler
