Thoughts on Japanese Women who date Foreign Men
In this episode, you will hear a conversation between Karl and I in a Japanese restaurant about my thoughts on Japanese women who date foreign men. This episode will tackle the different types of Japanese women and some of their preferences along with similarities of some Japanese women with women from other cultures.
You will also hear about Karl's friend who was involved in a relationship with a Japanese woman.
The transcript of the conversation can be viewed below. If you're viewing from iTunes, you can type this link on your browser: http://www.1001kisses.com/?p=2010
Karl: You think that most Japanese women have low self esteem?
Xander: I'm.. I'm not sure that Japanese Women have low self esteem generally speaking. I think that Japanese women or that many Japanese women I'm tempted to say most Japanese women that date Foreign Men have low self esteem, and date foreign men I should say exclusively because just causually observe the women that frequents places where foreign men hang out perhaps in the hopes of meeting a foreign men or practicing their english or maybe sriking up a relationship. These types of women appear to be on the lower social economic/academic self esteem strata as it were. I don't that you can say that a Japanese woman dating within her culture have low self esteem unless there's some type of effect that in Japan, Japanese men hold themselves up pretty high or the society structured so that the Japanese men so to speak is in the top rump.
So you know Im sure I have my own biases but you know you hear a foreign men talk about how easy Japanese woman are. I don't really think that's the case. I think maybe the easy japanese women are the same social strata as any women in any culture. That's kind of what I suspect. In doing the easy women, the easy women tend to have lower self esteem in any culture. That sn't to say that you can't have a relationship with a Japanese women fairly quickly in Japan. I think you can but you have to know the right relationship slash sexual buttons to push, but low self esteem. I don't think they have lower self esteem than any other culture. I'm not sure I can say that's true.
But you know, one thing that's interesting is that I do have this feeling that the average te Japanese women that i see with a foreign man, they'renot so attractive.
Karl: Yeah, I see foreign men settling with far less than they can get
Xander: Right and generally speaking, the foreign man has gotten what I call an English bandit. You know, someone They feel that they're in the outskirts of Japanese society. And because they're in the outskirts of Japanese Society maybe they don't feel they're really accepted among Japanese men, they take a step outside their culture and date a foreign man because some of the women that I have seen, okay she's a woman – I can say that but and maybe she was easy for that particular man to have a relationship with but I mean not so special. I was talking to Vin yesterday and Vin was saying you know how to do you convey money and status on Mixi. And I say you don't wanna convey money and status on Mixi because you gonna attract the gold digger. I say you have gold diggers in every culture.
Karl: Can they come interesting, unique, new experiences, something completely different and also non needy, not looking
Xander: Alright. that is one point. He asked me what are the mistake that some men make and number one would be to be too damn hungry.
Karl: Yeah. Obviously, they're too hungry and looking and nothing else going for them
Xander: You gotta be willing to say, "Okay fine, thank you, NEXT. You know. It's not gonna work with me. You're a nice girl but it's alright. Gotta go. NEXT."
Karl: It's like there was this hot woman that at the studio the other day. I got her contact details it's going back and forth with the the tongue play but she dropped out after I said I asked her when are you free? Just before we get to Kaito again and so I just left her. Remember the Golden Rule: Never Chase. Bumped into her at the studio yesterday and I said, "Oh Hi! How's it going? Seems like you've been busy lately." She said, "Oh yeah yeah, my job, my work." you know and I said, "Oh yeah okay. Great" and just cut it off there politely. No more. She had her chance and she's obviously not interested. She's got other stuff going on – whatever. Because she's easily replaceable. There's a million of her out there.
Xander: I would like to really wrap my hands on that. Like, every girl is not going to be into you. that's just the fact. and even within an invidividual guy's own culture, many wouldn't be into them. Why would it be any different in Japan? The mindset of foreign men in Japan, that's just makes me crazy. Why do they think that every Japanese women would be into me? Well, it's not gonna happen. It didn't happen at home, it's not gonna happen here. You know unless, you can develop a skill set.. You can develop a skill set where more women will be into you. You can develop that, but every woman isn't going to be into you. It's not that every womant isn't going to be into you. You need to be able to say oh I have them plenty, Next. You know, once you have that mentality, you're okay.
But I would like to see more guys attempt to date women who on the surface don't appear to speak English because when you do that, you'll realize the world of Japanese or the world of Japanes women is very very harsh. As I was talking to Vin, every Japanese person under 40 understands English. The older basically the key is using simple enough vocabulary, speaking in the right pitch or ?canus so they'll understand. It's that simple.
So what's your perception of the basic problem of ugh guy A's relationship?
Karl: Well, he's 36 37, 22 year old girlfriend. She's basically his ideal, physically and it seem like they were getting along well for a while but he lost her because he put her on up pedestal as being perfect or seeing the relationship as being unbalanced. And seeing, He kept on referring to her as my problem being that you know he was dating two inch of her and always worryings.about always stressing out about it.
Xander: Was he concerned that she was seeing someone else?
Karl: No it's just that he couldn't see himself being able to keep her.
Xander: Because of what?
Karl: Because she was too young and hot and she would you know..
Xander: My question is, did she say something that alluded to that? or did se do something that alluded to that? I still don't understand.
Karl: No he he's just have a negative attitude about it from the start., which is why he's not getting what he wants with women.
Xander: When then that means, what you're basically saying is that he's not happy with himself.
Karl: Mmm
Xander: And that he doesn't see himself as having enough value. I guess my question would be is that what does he think he brings to the table? I mean whenever I'm with a woman, I basically know what I bring to the table and that's enough for me to be as by that we are on an equal playing field and he's I mean it sound a lot. I mean.. is he worried about his age? Wait a minute, I'm 53, I'm 53 and I don't have a problem of dating a considerably young girl. I mean you know me. I've dated women between 25 and 35. Age is not an issue for me.
Karl: I think for women under 25, they arediffernt. They are a lot less stable. They're a lot less susceptible with peer pressure. It's all about their friends and what their friends think, so I think probably he wouldn't fit in if she were introduce him to her friends.
Xander: Well I'm sure that's the case but were they in an evironment where they were surrounded by her friends anyway? I can't imagine that they would be.
Karl: No. So probably, it's what's difficult. She was after an experience with an older guy and she had her experience. She saw what he was all about and then it was time to move on. On to the next prized and shiny object., which is what he fears all along. What you fear tends to manifest. Were if he were to appear to be cool about it and not so quite into her, not really taking it seriously, not really caring what she does, he might have been able to keep her.
Xander: Well..
Karl: Or you just got to basically with any young women, you just basically remember that it could end at any minute for any reason.
Xander: It always wants to make me chuckle whenever I hear guys talk about being with their fine women. You know why you don't see why you don't see foreign guys with attractive foreign women. Well I mean, look at your percentage of these guys. I really want to create a statistic.
Karl: I agree. Attractive foreign women I see are with attractive foreign women or alone. I just walked past to Carlos, two foreign models no guy was enjoying their time with them. (Laughing)
Xander: I think that is worth a study. Because every now and then I have some very attractive Japanese women with reasonably attractive foreign men, but the exception is not the rule. And when I say attractive, I mean attractive from the perspective tha a Japanese man would say that's an attractive women. Because our, it seems like what foreign men and what Japanese men consider attractive is somewhat different. A lot of the foreign men want big boobs and big butt. Well yeah, let's go back to America and date a fat person, you know. That's someone unusual in Japan. You know, big boobs, big legs, big butts, stuff like that.
Get Your Free eBook Sampler
