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Japanese wife always treat a husband well…may not be actually true and may be a totally wrong!

by: Noriko Murphy

Not only Japanese women but also Asians women are typically known to be a “good wife”, which mean that they listen to their husbands well and make sure that husbands are comfortable at home and do not ask much to help the household cores. However, it is not actually the case in a lot of Japanese wife and husband relationship. Japanese wife may be controlling their husbands most of the time and have more power than their Japanese husbands……..


For example, a lot of Japanese wives have control over money in the family and a husband can use only a certain amount of money every month, which is set by wife and she has a completely control over all the money they have in the family. You can also see often on the family TV shows in Japan that a wife gives a husband some cash of a few ten-thousand yen (a few hundreds dollars) or sometimes even a few thousands yen only (a few ten dollars), and it is the money that a husband can spend in a month. If he needs more money, he needs to ask a wife and she decides if he can spend more money or not in that month.


Many of Japanese husbands also often feel so isolated at home because a wife usually spends more time with their children, so it is natural for children to feel a lot more comfortable talking with Mother than Father when they really want to talk about something or they just feel nothing to talk about with Father because he is not at home most of the time. Japanese people usually have to leave the house to go to work around five or six in the morning to catch the train and work till six or seven p.m., or may be even till eight or nine o’clock every night.


Children are already done eating the dinner or time to go to bed by the time their father gets home from work. It is common among Japanese family that children and their father do not see or talk each other at all during the week. There is no time for those Japanese husbands/fathers to spend the quality time with their children. In addition, they are usually so tired from working for the week and just want to sleep in late on weekend, which also makes Japanese men not to try to make a plan with children or wife for weekends even though it is the only time that they can have the quality time with their own family.


A lot of foreigners still see or feel that Japanese husband seemed to be controlling a wife well and he is the boss in the family.  However, it is only because Japanese are traditionally taught that a husband/Father is always the boss in the family and takes in charge of any family matters. The schools do not teach children in that ways anymore but the tradition still continues. It looks bad in Japanese society if a wife seemed to be controlling a husband. Husband should be always a boss not a wife. Therefore, Japanese wife usually “act” so quiet in public when a husband’s co-workers or bosses are especially around. A lot of Japanese wives still seemed to be quiet and obey what their husbands say, but they may be so different at home and husbands may be the ones who are so quiet and listen what their wives say at home. Remember, a lot more Japanese women might be actually the boss not their husbands.

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