Why is it that so many Western men find ways to ruin a potentially good relationship with their Japanese girlfriend? Below are a few of the most common ways for Western men to screw up a perfectly good thing.Live in the Past You’d be surprised how many Western men come to Japan still carrying emotional baggage from past relationships. Whether it’s a divorce, a bad break-up or a string of unfulfilling relationships, you need to know how to put the past where it belongs: in the past! It’s over. You can’t change what happened, so move on and get over it! It does not matter what you or a woman did in the past, what really matters is what you two do together in the here and now. Put your past and a woman’s past where it belongs you’re your memories – and start making a new future together with your Japanese woman. Don’t Show Enough Attention Here’s a simple truth that you have to learn to deal with… relationships and dating take effort and attention on your part. This is especially true with Japanese women, they are going to look to you to be the “leader” in the relationship. You cannot leave it up to the Japanese woman to plan dates or do all the work in the relationship.

Here is the bottom line; if you do not pay attention to your Japanese woman, another man will – and you can watch her walk away with a man who had enough sense to realize that he needed to be creative, attentive, energetic and interested. Don’t Give Her Room to Breathe Some Western men don’t give their Japanese girlfriends enough attention; other guys have the opposite problem. If you’re e-mailing a Japanese woman a hundred times a day and constantly telling her how beautiful or amazing she is, you will quickly ruin your relationship. She will start to feel smothered and think you are kind of an obsessed stalker.

Many Western men aren’t used to having a lot of attention from women – so when a Japanese woman gives them attention, they go overboard. There is nothing wrong with being romantic and treating a woman well. But don’t overdo it. Remember that you are in Japan – the culture is very different. Japanese women don’t want to be with guys who come on too strong or too “loud.” Take a softer approach. Don’t be too overbearing. Don’t be too aggressive. Also keep in mind that the Japanese women you’re dating might not be as committed to you as you are to them. For many Japanese girls, dating a foreigner is merely a status symbol, no different than buying an Hermes handbag. When she tires of the handbag, it goes into the closet. When she tires of you, you go into her memory.

Remember, if she really wanted a creature that gave her undivided attention, she would get a dog. Why do you think some Japanese women view having a foreign boyfriend as a “status symbol?” How does this mindset get established and promoted among Japanese women?

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