Guys, are you tired of always having to approach Japanese women that you’re interested in? Well, why not make the Japanese women come to you? It’s true that in Japan, there are cultural differences that make it harder to get women to make the first move – but it can be done. There are a few things you can do to get Japanese women to come your way.
Be Available
Most of the time guys and women go out in groups or at least with one or two of their friends. Think about how hard it is for you to approach a woman who is with her friends – you have to approach the whole group and not just that one special woman you have your eyes on.
It is the same for women. It takes more courage for a man or woman to approach a group of people then just one person. So when you’re out at a bar or izakaya, and you want to talk to a Japanese woman, create opportunities to separate yourself from your friends for a short period of time so the women will feel more comfortable walking up to you.
Do Not Be So Shy
Japan is a culture that values shyness and modesty – however, you don’t want to be so shy that Japanese women fail to notice you. While being shy or subtle is a part of the flirting ritual, if your eyes have already met and you keep looking at each other for some sign that it is okay to approach then the rest is easy. Try smiling openly at her, raise your glass as a salute to her, or simply wave her over to you.
All you are risking is a nod that says “No.” If that is the case then you have saved yourself from being rejected in front of your friends, or worse in front of her friends.
Give her a Reason to Approach You
To get Japanese women to approach you sometimes takes more than smiles and flirting, it takes using something that women are naturally drawn to. For example if you have a great body, take off your shirt while jogging, or wear a shirt that shows off your muscles. Take your dog or a friend’s dog for a walk in the park on a nice day. (Japanese women love dogs.) You could even borrow a friend or family member’s baby or small child to take to the park.
Any of these will give a woman the opportunity to approach you and it will give you something to immediately talk to her about.
Look Your Best
Japan is a culture that values external appearances. Make sure before you go out – even just to the store – that you have taken a shower and smell good. Shave and be well-groomed, and make sure your breath is fresh. As a man you expect women to always look good or you will not even give them a second look; keep in mind that women – especially Japanese women – expect the same thing from men.
If a woman makes eye contact with you and she looks like someone you may be interested in, smile at her. A smile costs you nothing. Once you are talking to her, make her laugh. (This is often easy in Japan – many Japanese women like to hear English, and they tend to be generous with their laughter for self-effacing Western men.) A man with a good sense of humor is always attractive to most women – in Japan and around the world.
What was a missed opportunity for you? What would you have done differently?

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