Do Japanese women have a “Daddy fetish?”
A few months ago, a friend was talking to me about the Japanese women he had dated and/or become friends with and something became clear to me: every one of the Japanese women he had known, regardless of their age or where they were in their lives, dated guys that were in some way or another like their fathers.
A few of the guys were geeky and looked like they hadn’t had much experience with women. Others were fun-loving guys, or guys with a great sense of humor. There was the guy that loved manga, and another guy that was really into sumo. I talked to the Japanese women about these men, some had gone on only one date, but each and every one of these men (even the foreigners) were a little like the women’s Japanese fathers.
Could it be true? Do Japanese women spend their entire lives looking for a man that reminds them of their father? From my experience talking with the many Japanese women I’ve known over the years, I think that it just may be true. Japan is in many ways a patriarchal culture – fathers are an important figure in the lives of their families. Many Japanese women grow up looking up to their fathers as the most important man in their life, so it just makes sense that these women would be drawn toward a man like their father.
For some women, finding a man like their father would be a good thing: by seeking out a man that fits the image of their fathers, they would end up with a pretty good-hearted, hard-working guy. He might be a great cook, or he might know how to make her laugh, and most importantly, he would be kind. These are good qualities in any man. Putting their families first, making sure there is food on the table and the bills are paid, presents for holidays, and lots of laughter – what’s not to love?
Finding someone that is the mirror image of that man would be a dream come true for most Japanese women. Of course, this would have to come in a package about six inches taller, thinner around the middle, and with a bit more hair, most of them said. However, for some strange reason being a bald foreigner is not as bad as being a bald Japanese man, I don’t know why. But if his heart was the same as their dad’s, these women would be the happiest women in the world.
This is not true for all Japanese women though. Fathers come in all shapes and sizes, and sadly, many of them are not good men. Even those that are honest and hard-working may have faults that women do not want to see replicated in a boyfriend or husband. Fathers, especially from more traditional Japanese families, may be cold and reserved, and it can be difficult to build a family with a man that is distant from you. Worse, some Japanese women may be drawn to men that hurt them or are abusive, if they were unfortunate enough to grow up with a father like that. Women need to examine all of these issues when you are dating and searching for the man in your life.
As a man, I recommend that Japanese women think about how their father treated their mother, and ask themselves if this is how they would like to be treated one day. If so, they are in luck, because now they know just what to look for. But if you feel you deserve a man that will treat you better than your father did, do not give up. All women should be treated kindly by the men in their lives, and all women deserve an honest, caring man. Just because one man in your life hurt you does not mean that you deserve anything less.
Have you ever met the father of one of your Japanese girlfriends? What was he like?
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