A date with a Japanese woman: What’s for Dessert?
Women can tell a lot about a man based on what he does on the first date. Japanese women in particular will be judging you based on your sense of style, respect, courtesy and the overall level of thought that you put into the date. Planning the first date sets the tone for the relationship. There are a number of options for a first date, and it is important that you consider the interests of the woman that you are going out with before planning the date. Some girls enjoy activities that other girls may hate.
Give some thought to whether you want the date to be casual or formal. Some Japanese women always like to go on casual dates, and would prefer that things stay fun and lighthearted. If you’re dating a Japanese woman who has a high-stress job and she has to dress formally and handle a lot of responsibilities at work every day, then she might not want to be so formal on the weekend or in the evenings. Try to think of a fun activity that gets you both out of your regular element. Imagine a date where you both could wear athletic shoes and comfortable clothes. If you’re dating a Japanese woman who likes fitness activities and the outdoors, you could plan a hike, horseback riding, or a baseball game.
More often, though, you will be planning a date for a Japanese woman who wants to be treated like a lady – in fact, she might even expect that her Western boyfriend will treat her with “ladies first” courtesy. You will need to get a little dressed up, tasteful but not too formal. If you’re going to dinner, choose a nice restaurant, with a type of food you know she will like. Great restaurants are everywhere, which means choosing one is very easy or difficult depending on your personality. If you are not sure if she dislikes certain kinds of food, you should ask her. She will know that you are taking an interest in making her happy.
Next, you will want to plan an activity for after dinner. Keep in mind that sex is less important to Japanese women than women in other cultures. (Japan is ranked among the lowest in the world in level of sexual activity!) If the date goes well, there is always a chance you might get lucky, but do not allow thinking about sex to cloud your mind, and don’t get your hopes up. Sex is natural for Western men and women, but Japanese women tend to think of sex as a gift to men or a “to do list” task instead of expecting pleasure for themselves.
Think of something simple to do together after dinner, like a walk in a park, or a trip to a coffee shop or someplace quiet where you can talk. The Japanese woman that you’re dating will want to talk to you in order to build trust and comfort. It is important for her to believe that you want to get to know her better, and a trip to a quiet café will help you set the tone for this. Make it easier for her to be open to the possibility of sex by planning an activity that is close to your place or close to a love hotel. That way, if sex becomes a possibility, you can quickly get to a private place.
There are many choices when it comes to planning a first date, and it is important that you plan the date exactly for the woman that you will be taking out on the town. She will feel special and the attention you paid to the plans will help you make her think you are the man for her.
What are some of your favorite places in Tokyo to take a date?
What’s the best (or worst) first date you’ve ever had with a Japanese woman?
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