A Critical Look At A Relationship – The Librarian
When doing research for these articles I noticed that nowhere was a relationship dissected, from start to finish, for others to see the advice put into action. I have chosen seven of my relationships to dissect in hopes that you will gain from my successes and learn from my failures. This article is part 1 of 7.
Relationship length: About 3 months
Japanese level: Very basic – did not use in this relationship
Length of time in Japan on First Date: About 2 months
The Pre-Meeting:
There was a library nearby and I looked for any excuse to get out of apartment. So, with my Japanese-English dictionary in hand, I went to the children's section and taught myself to read Japanese.
I went in the library for a couple of hours 3 to 4 times a week. Always said "Hello" to the librarian staff (there was this nice old librarian who would offer me some form of sweet for being a "good boy" – yeah, they probably laughed at me behind my back).
There was this other librarian, in her mid-20's, that also worked there. She would be my first Japanese lover.
The Meeting:
About 2 months into my studying, the young librarian came over and said, "You study Japanese good". I didn't know why she came over and, at that time, I really didn't like the interruption. I was polite and thanked her.
She continued, "You children book read is cute"
I may not be quick but if a girl continues a conversation, that means she wants to talk.
I invited her to sit down and, with her broken English, she asked the standard type of questions "Where are you from?" – "How long have you been in Japan?", and, the one that got me the date "Do you like Sushi?"
I answered her and I asked her "Where are you from?" – "How long have you been in Japan?" (she answered 24 years – sneaky way of getting an age) "Does you like Sushi?" (she answered yes).
I asked her if she was married or had a boyfriend (she giggled the shy Japanese giggle that, honestly, I don't like). She answered “No” to those questions so I asked her out for lunch at a Sushi restaurant.
Relationship
First date went well. Her English was horrible (but, so was my Japanese) but I had my dictionary and, for the most part, we communicated OK.
I asked her out again, this time to a movie (big mistake – never go on a date to a Japanese movie theater). Although not a great time at the movies, we both could joke about how bad the experience was which lead to a third date.
We had sex on the third date. Her lack of experience was very shocking. At first I thought she was a virgin but she said she had 3 lovers before.
The sex was bad – all the time. I made it my mission to have her enjoy the sex as much as I wanted to enjoy it. It was no use. And this was the start of the end.
The End
The problem was that unlike many men I wasn't experienced at treating women like objects. I didn’t enjoy the relationship and, I’m sure, she didn’t either.
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