A Critical Look At A Relationship – The Kindergarten Teacher
When doing research for these articles I noticed that nowhere was a relationship dissected, from start to finish, for others to see the advice put into action. I have chosen seven of my relationships to dissect in hopes that you will gain from my successes and learn from my failures. This article is part 5 of 7.
Relationship length: One Night
Japanese spoken: English only
Length of time in Japan before First Date: About 4 years
The Pre-Meeting:
Had my first book published and was hitting the book fair and seminar circuit. I was a guest speaker on several panels and was the main speaker at a couple more. Atone book fair, after my seminar presentation, I was in the publisher’s booth promoting my book. The turn out was low and, to stave off boredom, I struck up a conversation with the Japanese women in the booth next to me.
The Meeting:
She was very intelligent, had a sharp wit, and as bored as I was. She was there helping out a friend who wrote a book on early education. We talked about the many hats an author wears just to get a book published, especially without an agent (her friend and I were in the same situation).
We had a good conversation and I invited her to dinner afterwards.
The Relationship:
During dinner she let me know she wasn’t looking for a relationship because she just got a nasty divorce (Although divorce rates are going up in Japan, they still are low compared to America. The “nickname” of “Batsu-Ichi” [Strike One] is assigned to someone who divorces – and it doesn’t have good connotations).
We talked about the different cultural perspectives on divorce and, with the label of “Batsu Ichi”, she feared for her social life. I was getting the impression she needed confirmation that she was still attractive.
We ended up in my room.
The End:
I could tell she felt awkward the following day at the book fair. She had been very honest and upfront that she didn’t want to enter into another relationship at that time so I respected her wishes and didn’t pursue her. We ran into each other a few more times and, the last time we met, it looked like she had found a boyfriend.
