A Critical Look At A Relationship – The Horseback Riding Trainer
When doing research for these articles I noticed that nowhere was a relationship dissected, from start to finish, for others to see the advice put into action. I have chosen seven of my relationships to dissect in hopes that you will gain from my successes and learn from my failures. This article is part 7 of 7.
Relationship length: 11 years
Japanese spoken: English only
Length of time in Japan before First Date: About 5 years
The Pre-Meeting:
I had a toothache and went to this dentist who practiced his English on me while I had drills and gloved hands in my mouth. He asked if I would take a look at his English version admission form and fix the grammatical errors. In exchange, he would not charge me for my visit. A Very surreal experience that lead to a very strong friendship.
We would go bowling together and he invited me to his office parties. He even helped me find a better apartment. We ended up very good friends. He was getting married so, naturally, I attended.
I was seated at the “friends” table. The seating arrangement was suspicious in the sense that it went Man-Woman-Man-Woman etc. with the men and women at the table were all single. I later found out the bride was playing matchmaker.
I was sandwiched between two very uninteresting women. They were nowhere near my type in terms of personality or looks. On the other hand, one of the women sitting a couple of chairs away was physically my type but I wasn’t too concerned about getting together with anyone. I was honestly not looking for any type of relationship and was just enjoying myself.
The Meeting:
About a month later I was getting together with my friend to go bowling. I stopped by his office and his new wife and her friend, the one I thought was attractive, were there. The wife’s friend got a job in England at a horse-riding club that started in about 6 months. She was planning on living in England for a few years.
The topic came up that I was American and she laughed and said, “They don’t speak English in America!” (BTW – she could communicate very well in English)
The Relationship:
We dated and the relationship started to grow. Then she had to leave. We decided to try to keep the relationship going for as long as we could. We did a very good job at it, although the time-difference phone calls was a challenge. Fortunately (and unfortunately) she returned after 3 months due to a family emergency.
After about a year of dating, we got married. I Made my friend come to the wedding.
The End:
Eleven years and 3 kids later, we are still going strong. Whenever I look back on the paths my life has taken, it amazes me how I ended up with this woman. I never had a “Japanese” fetish. It is also stated that, after marriage, Japanese women treat sex as an obligation and there is no fun or excitement. I’m so glad that I’m living in America and have married an atypical Japanese woman
