A Critical Look At A Relationship – The Eikaiwa Manager
When doing research for these articles I noticed that nowhere was a relationship dissected, from start to finish, for others to see the advice put into action. I have chosen seven of my relationships to dissect in hopes that you will gain from my successes and learn from my failures. This article is part 6 of 7.
Relationship length: 2 months
Japanese spoken: English only
Length of time in Japan before First Date: About 4 1/2 years
The Pre-Meeting:
There are a few stereotypes when you live in Japan. One of them is WHITE = AMERICAN. This would drive my British and Canadian friends crazy, especially when they were asked, “What part of America are you from?”
So it was a nice twist when, at a birthday party for one of my British friends, a Japanese woman asked “What part of England are you from?”
She was a manager at an English Conversation School my friend worked at. We had a good conversation during the evening and, overall, it was a nice party.
The Meeting:
She was attractive and the vibe I got from the conversation was she was attracted to me so I made an excuse a few days later to show up at the conversation school. She was there and we talked a bit while my friend was teaching a class. I asked her out for dinner that night. She said she was busy but she wouldn’t mind lunch the next day.
The Relationship:
It was, by far, the most interesting relationship I have ever had ever. It was physical and she approached sex very intensely. But there were also some odd parts of the relationship.
We never really went out, I wasn’t allowed to meet her at work, she never stayed over, I was never invited to her place, and, as far as I could tell, she had absolutely no friends.
I later found out she was married. I didn’t know it at the time and she went to great lengths to keep it from me.
The End:
Once I found out she was married, I ended the relationship. She was sorry for deceiving me and she said that she “loved” me. I cared for her but trust is something I value in a relationship and, once that is gone, it is very hard for me to continue.
